Being All Alone (old story)
by EmmaB2900
Summary: I feel two strong arms wrapping themselves around my waist. The arms lift me up and I start screaming and kicking. "Calm down, you can't go near them." The boy says. His voice is deep and somewhere a bit sexy. I stop screaming and kicking, but I can't manage to stop crying. The boy's still holding me close. Blue eyes the only thing i remember. Amazing blue eyes that haunt me
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hey! I'm starting a new story! I hope your all very excited! Please tell me how you want this story because I need your help! Love you all!  
BTW this chapter is a prologue. **

"Mom! Dad?" I scream.  
I can't find them anymore. I went away for five minutes and they just left. They knew I went to the toilet.  
"Dad! This isn't funny!" I keep screaming and walking around through the big crowd of people. 'God! Why are there so many people here' I think to myself. The crowd gets thinker and thinker, but I keep moving. I know for sure that my parents are somewhere in this crowd.

I turn around the corner and immediately wish I didn't. There are three very badly damaged people lying on the ground, next to a car. The bodies are almost unrecognizable, but somewhere deep inside me I know that the body are my family. Tears start to slip out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly I want to be near them, so I rudely shove a lot of people out of my way and run to my parents. I'm sobbing hysterically, but I don't really care at this moment, all I want is my parents and my brother back.

I feel two strong arms wrapping themselves around my waist. The arms lift me up and I start screaming and kicking.  
"Calm down, you can't go near them." The boy says.  
His voice is deep and somewhere a bit sexy. I stop screaming and kicking, but I can't manage to stop crying. The boy's still holding me close. 'How the hell am I supposed to go home?' 'How am I going the pay everything I need?' Thoughts like these are dancing through my head. This is the worst vacation ever, I can't go back home because my flight is in five days and I can't afford buying a new one.

The boy puts me down again, but my knees are shaking and can't keep my weight on them. I immediately fall on the ground, with my head in my hands I start crying again. His strong arms aren't around me anymore. I feel weak, his arms made me feel safe. 'You have 10 more seconds.' I tell myself. I can't lay here for the rest of my life.

10.  
9.  
8.  
My parents and brother are death, I can't believe I'm on my own.  
7.  
6.  
I'll miss you dad.  
5.  
4.  
I'll miss you Caleb.  
3.  
2.  
1.  
I'll miss you more than anything mom.  
With that in the back of my mind, I stand up. I let one more tear fall down and look at the boy. His eyes are blue like an ocean, he's about 16 years old (two years older then I'm) and about 5,8 long. "Thank you." I whisper just hard enough for him to hear.  
He's looking at me without saying anything. For five long minutes we just stand there.  
"I assume that's your family." He says breaking the very uncomfortable silent. "Is there something I can do for you?" I shake my head.  
As I turn around to walk away, he grabs my arm.  
"You're gonna be ok. I promise, if you ever need me just call me, I'm here for you." He places a soft kiss on my head and gives me a little folded paper with his number on it. I feel a blush on my cheeks and quickly look down.

I walk over to the police officer, who's standing next to my family. Without looking at them I ask him if he can take my mother's necklace for me. He asks me a few questions to make sure I'm the daughter, but after those questions he goes to get it. He gives the necklace to me and I look at it. The Venice mask is covered in blood. I quickly put it in my purse and walk away, away from the crowd, away from the boy that's hunting me with his beautiful blue eyes.

**A/N What was your thought about this chapter? Review me! PM me for personal questions!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hey! Guys! Here is the next chapter! I hope you like it. Review or PM for questions. **

*****1 year and 8 months later.*

My life has been a hell since that one day in Chicago. I shiver, the thought about that one day still makes me feel, scared, alone and weak. I cried a lot, our house was so big without my brother running around and making a fool of himself, my parents laughing at him. At night I slept in the 'big bed' of my parents. It smelled like them. It made me calmer and it made me believe that they were still with me.  
I sold 'our' house, because I couldn't afford it and there weren't many jobs in that area. I sold everything inside and outside the house, everything except one black box. The box is filled with memories and possessions from my parents and my brother.

In Amsterdam I realized I wanted to go back, back to Chicago to be with my parents, but I also realized that going back would cost a lot of money, so I needed a job. With the money my parents left behind I could life for another three months, it wasn't enough for the trip. Searching for a job was easier said, than done, I was only 14 years old, so the law didn't let me work in a shop. One day, I was walking around searching for a job, when I saw a poster. The poster caught my attention. It said:

Club Crystal.  
We are searching for Girls under 21.  
Do you want to have fun and make some more money?  
Contact us now! -020 671 8282  
Stadhouderskade 64, Amsterdam.

The first thing I thought when I saw the poster was. 'Yes! I really need money and I'm under 21, they will hire me!' Without thinking about it I walked to the club.

Now I regret ever taking the job. I didn't only lose my virginity in that horrible place to some stranger, I also have a scar as big as a pear on my hip and multiple small ones on my other hip, but after one year working I finally got enough money to ask the USCIS for a citizenship. It took a while to let them agree to become an American citizen because you need to be eighteen, but after I told them both of my parents and my brother died in Chicago they considered thinking about it. Four months later I got a letter that said that they agreed to let me in.

I immediately started searching for an apartment in Chicago. I easily found an apartment near Lincoln Park High School. I looked around for information about LP high school and I decided to go to that school. I'm sixteen years old, so I will be a junior.

*Two weeks later.*

'I'm packing my stuff.' I think to myself. I'm finally packing my stuff. I drop all my clothes in a big box and my other stuff in another big box. My apartment isn't very big, so I don't have a lot of stuff. The black box is on my bed. I look at it one more time before putting in my big hand bag, for in the plane. I'm walking one other round through my apartment to make sure everything is empty. Kitchen, empty. Bathroom, empty,. Closet, _one little white paper._ Bedroom, empty. Wait… What? I walk back to check the closet, there is a little white paper at the top of it. I need to stand on my tiptoes to reach it. I look at it a few second, trying to remember who gave me this, before opening it.

_I'm here for you if you need me.  
Call me if you need any help.  
312860011._ **(I don't know I this can be a real number in any country, but I made it upso don't call or something.)**

_-4_

Then I remember it. Those blue eyes I see every time, on everybody in Club Crystal. Those blue eyes that hunt me in my sleep. I can't remember his face very well, my vision was a bit blur from tears. I decide to text him, but what do I say? Hi! You probably don't know me anymore, but I'm the helpless girl from the accident and I need your help.  
That's just weird. I decide to go with an simple 'I need your help' and explain everything in small parts. There is an reply within two minutes.  
**Who are you?  
**OK I understand his reaction, but do I really need to explain this. It's still hard to talk about.  
**You remember that accident more than one and a half year ago?**

**Yes, but that still doesn't explain who you are.**

**Well it kind of does, I was the girl the was screaming and kicking you like a lunatic.**

**Oww, your that girl, I do remember you. What can I do for you?**

**Well I'm moving into Chicago tomorrow and I kind of need to find my apartment. It's near Lincoln Park.**

**I can bring you. Who late is your flight arriving?**

**11 a.m. Thank you very much!**

**I don't my grey eyes! ;)**

**Grey eyes?**

**Well yeah I only remember your eyes not your face….**

**OK bye blue eyes ;P.**

Ok, that was just weird. I just, I don't even know. I feel good about going back, but leaving my home country. It will be really hard to fit in, but I guess it will be worth it.

**This chapter sucked, I know, but it will get better. I promise…**

**I 'd like to get to know you all, please review or pm me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I'm back with the third chapter! ! I hope you enjoy it! I'm sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes I'm writing this on my phone. This chapter is in Four's POV.**

FOUR'S POV.

"Dude. I'm feeling lonely. Shauna is out of town with Marlene for the rest of the day and MY LIFE IS SO BORING! !" Yes that's Zeke. His life is everything but boring and still he's complaining. I mean, he has a girlfriend, family that cares about him and he has an awesome car. While I live on my own, with no money, no family and not even a girlfriend.

Well... There is this one girl. I met her about one and a half years ago. There was an accident near Lincoln Park. I was just walking down the road when I saw her. She was screaming and crying while she was moving through the crowd. The only thing I remember about her are her beautiful grayish eyes. They still hunt me every night.

"Dude! calm down. I will come over." I answer him.

"Yeah! We're going to have fun."

"Yeah, sure." I say slightly annoyed.

I know he is about to torture me, about the gray eyed girl. Asking me for details about her and what she did when I picked her up. Every time I tell him that I don't remember much about her, but I do, I do remember how shocked she looked when I grabbed her and lifted her, how she slowly calmed down and how she slowly walked away. Her face wore an expression that was full of horror, like her world just crashed down. Well, I guess it did. Her whole family died in that accident. She clearly didn't live in Chicago, or even in the USA. I wonder if she's still alive, if her family took care of her, if she came home safely and if she's still the same beautiful girl she was. Sometimes I hope that she will come back, that I will have a chance to see her again.

"Four! Dude wake up." Zeke's yelling at me and shaking my shoulder. I don't remember falling asleep.

"I was just telling you about Shauna. No need to fall asleep, just tell me I'm boring. " He continues.

"You're boring. " I reply sarcastically.

"Ok. change of subject. How are you and gray eyes doing. Did you hear anything about her? "

"No Zeke and you know that if I would, I would have told you. "

Right after I said it, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I reach for it. It reads : One unread message, number unknown. Well that is weird. I never had a text from an unknown person. I decide to check it in chase of it being something important.

**I need your help. **

Ok. that is kinda creepy. I show the text to Zeke. He agrees that it is creepy, but he thinks I need to reply, so I do.

**Who are you?**

**You remember that accident more than one and a half years ago? **

OMG this can't be happening. it can't be her. I decide to play safe, before freaking out about the fact that I finally got in contact with this amazing girl.

**Yes, but that still doesn't explain who you are. **

**Well, it kind of does. I was the girl that was screaming and kicking you like a lunatic. **

A huge smile forms his way on my face. I can't believe that I finally got in contact with her. After one and a half year dreaming about the girl, I can finally talk to her again. Ok, now stay cool, before Zeke starts questioning you... Too late.

"Dude, who was the mystery texter? You can't stop smiling."

I decide ignoring him, is the best thing to do at this moment. I need to explain everything to him later on, so it doesn't matter.

**Ohh, you're that girl, I do remember you. What can I do for you? **

**well, I am kinda moving into Chicago tomorrow and I need to find my apartment, it's near Lincoln Park. **

The smile starts forming again and I can't control it. She's moving into Chicago! Before I know what is happening Zeke grabs my phone and reads our small conversation. He smiles and starts to reply something. He gives me my phone back and I read the next texts:

**I can bring you. How late is your flight arriving? **

**11 a. you very much!**

I smile Zeke knows me good enough to let me pick her up. Then I reply:

**I don't mind gray eyes! ;)**

**Gray eyes? **

**Yeah, I remember your eyes, your face... not really. **

**Ok, bye blue eyes ; p**

OMG I'm so happy. I turn to Zeke and High Five him.

"You know I'm coming with you."

"Yes Zeke, I know. I will drop you off at the Mc Donalds."

"Yeah! Uraih will be there, so you can leave me and get some alone time with your new Girlfriend. "

"Zeke, she's not my girlfriend, I don't even know her. "

"You don't care if you know her or not, you want her to be with you. "

I look at the carpet, he's right I want to be with her, I want to know more about this girl. I decide to check her status, your status says something about you.

**Working at Club Crystal. Can't wait to leave this place. **

"Zeke! can you look at Google for Club Crystal, her status says she works there, but she doesn't seem to be happy with it. "

" Sure Bro. " he replies. After as few seconds I hear him say 'Omg, dude check this out. I know why she is not happy working here.'

I walk over to him. As soon as I see the screen, I see a bunch of young girls, probably under eighteen, only in underwear. Their arms and legs look like they have been cut and there are blue and purple bruises all over their body. We scroll down for a few more seconds till I see her. She looks almost the same, it's weird seeing the girl you want to be with in nothing more than underwear before you even met her, but I don't really mind. She very good looking and I can see how strong she is.

"That's her. " I say in awe.

"Wow, dude. She is hot. I should go tell Shauna to wear somethig like that."

I just shake my head. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day, but I want to get to know her and introduce her to the group. I'm not going to let her be here without knowing all of my friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**Heeyy! Yeah! back with a new chapter. Hope you enjoy it!**

**TRIS' POV. **

My flight was boring, there was a little kid who was crying almost all of the flight. His parents tried to make him shut up, but they failed. The food was very bad, I had some kind of meat, but I threw it away. The only eat able thing was the apple pie.

I'm glad Four is going to pick me up. I saw his profile picture and he's kind of hot. His eyes still have the same ocean blue color. He has a full lower lip and a square upper lip.

I'm walking through some kind of huge hallway while texting Aron. He was my only friend back in Holland. Maybe it was because we both had a hard time, I was struggling with making money and not getting pregnant, while he was struggling with himself, he was bullied because he is gay. I helped him with getting confidence in himself, and he helped me by telling me that because of the fact that I needed money, it didn't make me a whore.

I'm still disgusted by myself. every time I look at my body, all I see are strangers touching me, I can hear myself screaming and begging them to stop. I see how their smiles would grow and I see myself sitting in the corner of the room, crying, after I was stabbed. I can still feel the pain when I dragged myself out of the room.

I quickly touch my scar and shake my head to get the thought away. I'm here now, my time as whore is over, I never have to do something like that again. it's over and done and I'm happy. I t's done. I can completely start over, nobody will know about my past.

I have to walk some more till I see him. His amazing blue eyes. There is someone next to him, the unknown guy holds a unfolded piece of paper with 'grey eyes' on it. Really grey eyes? But well I never give him my name, I just know his name because of his status 'I'm the awesome Four!' I just assumed Four was his name, it has to be a nickname, thought.

''Hi, I'm Tris." I say as I come near them.

"I'm Zeke, you will remember me, I'm just so awesome, nobody will forget me. " the unknown guy who now has a name says. He's so full of himself, I like it. He seems like an awesome friend.

"I'm Four, how are you Tris? " He asks it politely. I look up and those blue eyes seem to drag me in, making me drown.

"I- I'm good, well... I'm better than I was last time we met. " I say half joking.

We just look at each other for a few seconds, I'm again drowning in his eyes, damn. I need to stop this. Zeke interrupts us.

"Ok, can we go now, I want to go to the McDonald's, so you two can have a happy reunion. " afterwards he winks at Four.

My body tenses, I hope he doesn't expect anything. Before I can think about it anymore, both of the guys start walking to the exit. I'm struggling with my two suitcases and my huge handbag. They just won't roll over the pavement. Luckily Zeke mentions that I'm struggling and grabs one of them and Four grabs the other one.

We hop into Four's pickup truck with me in the passenger's seat, Four in the driver's seat and Zeke pouting that he needs to go in the back. We drop Zeke of at the McDonald's and watch him run in like a little kid.

" How have you been really? " Four asks me.

"Um... it's been hard, dealing with money problems and all. " I don't want to get to detailed, I don't want him to think of me like I'm a dirty slut. I just need to start over , forget what happened and start over.

"Tris, I will just be straight forward. Zeke and I know about.. um... your way of making money and I just want you to know that we don't think you're dirty or something, we think you're strong."

I'm taken back for a moment, how did he know what I did as job? and why does Zeke know it too?  
"How do you know?" I ask in a whisper. He can't know, I hoped I could leave all of that behind and live a new and happy life. Well my plan didn't work out.

"I saw you status, and went to search for it on Google, so well um yeah."

"I just hoped I could leave it behind and start something new. "

"It's going to be ok, you know that you can trust me right. I will help you. Just like I did in the day of the accident." He says with a wink.

" Yeah" I say wiping away the tears that had fall down.

"We are here Tris, I will help you." he says , he reaches over and removes the tears around my eyes with his thumb, he gives me a small smile before stepping out of the car. before I can open my door he opened it for me. I sigh, he is a gentleman.

"What is your room number? "he asks.

"473." I answer.

"Good that is next to mine. if there is something wrong you can come to me. I will always be there for you. "

We walk into my room, it's nice, not a real home yet, but I can make something of it. Four drops one of my suitcases on the bed and I lie the next one next to it.

"Thanks Four, for being here for me and picking me up. "

Suddenly he wraps his arms around me, I am taken back for a moment, but then I give in. He holds me close and I feel safe and surprisingly very comfortable. The tears start to flow again. _Damn I'm way too emotional today_. Way to soon he let's go and I immediately miss the warmth of his strong body.

"What do you think about dinner tonight? so you can meet the whole gang." I think about this for a moment. What if Zeke told them? What if they all know and judge me? I can't let that happen. On the other side, I really need some friends.

"that sounds very nice, but I am very tired. "

"You can go sleep now. I will make sure you are awake."

" Thank you for everything." I say and he walks away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey hope you enjoy this chapter, it did cost some problems writing it, but everything for you guys. Love you! **

TRIS ' POV.

I wake up by a banging sound on my door. I groan and look at the clock next to my bed. I need to say, I slept very well. Most of the time I'm having trouble sleeping in new or foreign places.

I quickly put some clothes on, skinny jeans form Snoopy and a t-shirt from Zara plus my very old Jordans. I'm always wearing them, except for a few occasional things, when I need to wear heels. I got them from my parents before we left for our vacation in Chicago. It's something that reminds me of my parents and they are very comfortable.

The banging continues. I open the door, but nobody is there. That's weird, somebody is still banging on my door, but there isn't anybody in the hallway.

"Tris, open your door. We have dinner with our friends, remember. " Four's voice blares through the wall.

"Four, my door is open. " I say slightly confused.

"No, your other door." He says chuckling lightly " The one in the livingroom."

I walk around searching for a door. Then I see it, it's next to the bookshelf. It's painted white. There is something written on the door. It's written with black paint and it covers almost the whole door. 'Do not use, asshole on the other side of the door' it reads. I laugh a bit, seems like he had a good relationship with his last neighbor.

"What's so funny Tris?" He asks through a still closed door.

"Do not use, asshole on the other side of the door. " I say laugh at the end.

"Yeah, I am glad she left, we didn't have a good relationship. "

I open the door and I see him, god he's hot. _Wait what?_ He changed his clothes, he wears black jeans and a black t shirt that hugs his body in the most perfect places. I look at his face and I see that he is looking at me to. He isn't looking at my face, his eyes fall down a bit more. Wow, this is awkward. I cough trying to get him out of his trance. He looks at me and I see that his face is a bit red. We both look at each other before he breaks the silence.

"I told Zeke we will have a dinner to introduce you to our friends. He invited everyone and you have 10 more minutes before we are leaving. We are going to a steak house by the way."

I just nod at him and turn around to change in the bathroom. I feel him following me. I look around and he sits down at the bed. I walk into the bathroom with one thing on my mind; I hope he doesn't start looking through all of my boxes. There are three boxes in my bed room; one filth with clothes, one filth with lingerie and one filth with memories of the good times back 'there'.

FOUR'S POV.

I sit down on her bed, thinking about how bad I just fucked up. Not that there was anything thing going on between us, but I dreamed about meeting her a lot. Why? Why did I need to stare at her boobs? Zeke would kill me if he knew what I did.

I look around, there are three boxes near the door. I pick one up, maybe I can make up for what I did when I help her a bit. I open the box, clothes, I see tank top, jeans, the t shirts, hoodies and shorts. I pick it up one by one and put it in her closet. When I look into the next box I'm a bit shocked, the box is about half of the size of the last box, but still. The box is full of lingerie. In all of the colors there is at least one. There are a lot of black ones. I decided to put the box back on its place and knock on the bathroom door, a lot more polity than when I did to wake her up.

"Tris, we need to go. Are you ready? "

She opens the door and I take my time to look at her again. her long blond hair falls over her shoulders. Her blue eyes seem to pop out, it suits her very good and it makes her look sexy. God, I really need to stop thinking about her like this I just met her.

We hop into the car, she sits next to me in the passenger's seat while I drive. We sit in a comfortable silence and listen to some music. We're almost there when she gets a call. Her face lights up when she sees who is calling. She quickly excuses herself and picks up. I can only hear one side of the conversation.

"Hello. "

...

"YOU DID WHAT?"

...

"It's gonna be ok. you were the one that told me to stay strong and make the best of it. Now it's your turn to be strong. "

...

"I know Aron, I feel the same way about all of this. Remember you can always call me, I need to go now. I will text you later."

she puts her phone back into her bag.

"Four I'm sorry. I didn't expect him to call. "

"it's ok." I say as I park the car next to Zeke ' s car.

We walk into the restaurant and I'm great with the delicious smell of steak. I sit next to Zeke and he nudges me in the side. I give him a confused look, but he just winks at me.

TRIS ' POV.

Wow this is a bit awkward. Everybody is talking to someone. I count 6 people besides Four and I. I recognize Zeke, Four is sitting next to him. I'm still standing, so I decide to sit down next to a girl with a tanned skin and beautiful dark brown hair. I'm also sitting opposite to Four. The girl is in a conversation with the girls next to her. I'm feeling very awkward sitting here and knowing nobody. Soon our waiter comes and asked is we want anything to drink. I order a water and grab my phone out of my bag. before I can text Aron to say how awkward this is the girl next to , eat notices and grab my phone.

"Hey new girl! I'm Christina. Explain to me who this hottie is."

"I'm Tris and that guy is my best friend, besides he's not that hot. " I answer trying to get the conversation on another road. I prefer not telling them about Aron being gay.

"Not that hot! he is hot! Shauna! He is hot right?" she says, giving my phone the girl who's sitting next to Zeke.

I know Aron's profile picture is a picture I took when we were on the beach last year. He has no shirt on and gives a real smile. Aron and I used to work out together, I was improving my running skills while he practiced getting stronger, it worked and he has a fully trained body now. He doesn't like to show it off, because the girls will try to seduce him and he is very uncomfortable with that.

"Yeah! who is it? " the girl named Shauna asks

"Tris' best friend. " Christina answers for m

"Ohh, that is a friend zone. " Shauna says.

I just shake my head, it isn't at all. I look at Four maybe he can help me out, but when he looks up at me, I see that his face is full of hurt and... jealously? Why would he be jealous, nobody wants someone as damaged and gross like me. It doesn't make any sense.

I will just tell them, they are nice people and I'm sure they can be trusted. Well I'm breaking my promise with Aron now, so I guess he can come and throw knifes at my head. Stupid dare.

"Ok, I'm telling you, but only if you promise I can trust all of you and if Aron comes over don't tell him where he can find me or any knifes, not even butter knifes. "

They all nod, so I continue my story.

"I don't feel like explaining the whole situation, so long story short. , Aron is gay. "

They all just stare at me, like I'm a unicorn. Marlene is the first one to speak.

"How can a boy with those abs be gay?"

"Well, we trained together, we both had a reason, I did it because I didn't want to be scared anymore, and he did it because he wanted to stand up for himself against those guys who bullied him."

"Before you told us something about knifes... Why knifes?" Zeke asks.

"One day we were training and we decided to teach ourselves knife throwing, he was really good at it and we made a promise. If I would tell anybody that he is gay he can throw knifes at my head."

"Ok, seems fair enough."

We talk about some more uninteresting topics till we have to get home. Four and I head to his truck when I step in I hear whistles around me. Zeke and Uriah are whistling. I give them a dead glare and sit down on the passenger's seat. Four and I talk about random stuff till we come near the apartment complex. We walk to my door. I unlock the door and open it to get in, but when I step inside Four pulls me back and embraces me in a big hug. I wrap my arms around his waist and we stay like that for a few minutes, his strong arms around me make me feel safe and loved, something I didn't feel before. I scares me a bit, knowing he has this effect on me after just one day.

All to soon he pulls back and I immediately miss his arms around me. He smiles and I smile back before stepping into my apartment. Tomorrow is my first day in school. I'm scared and excited.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry that it took so long to update this chapter, but here we are with a new chapter!**

TRIS ' POV

Yesterday was great. Christina is an amazing girl and we had a lot of fun talking about sports and in some occasions Holland, but it luckily never came to my past. We decided she would pick me up because I still don't have a car.

She is a lot like Aron; happy, loud, funny and they both love shopping. I look at the clock, still 20 minutes left before Christina comes. I decide I could unpack some more boxes. The first one is full of food, real Dutch food like licorice and syrup waffles, and cheese. I didn't have a proper breakfast, so I open a bag of licorice and start to eat while I put the food into the fridge.

10 minutes later I'm done with the first box and ate half of the bag licorice. Moving on to the next box I find it already open. I'm sure I closed all the boxes with ductape. I reopen the box and see all my lingerie in it. everything is still neatly folded and on the same place. I shrug and start to unpack the box, not everything fits in one drawer, so I start moving al, my bras into the one under beat it. I'm halfway done as someone nocks on my door. I quickly run to the door and open it. Christina stands there with a huge smile on here face.

"Hi girl! ready for your first day in school? "

"Yeah, just let me grab my coat, so we can go."

* Time skip till arriving at school*

We arrive at school in 10 minutes. She parks the car near the main building and walks with me into the school. As soon as I walk into the school I'm tackled to the ground by Uriah. I make an oomph sound. _god he's heavy_.

"Hey Trissy. " He says in an high pitched voice.

"Uriah, can you get off of me." He quickly stands up and offers me a hand. I take it and walk away without saying anything. There's a woman behind the desk and I ask her for my schedule. She seems annoyed when I ask her for my locker number and key. Number 681. Out of nowhere Christina starts screaming. I give her a weird look.

"Your locker is right next to mine."

"Ok, that's.. um ... nice. Now can you show me my where my locker Is? "

"Oh, yes of course. Follow me Trissy. "

She leads me through a hell of a lot hallways and finally I reach my locker. There are a lot of jocks leaning against my locker, I recognise Zeke and Four, but the rest are unknown. They don't seem to notice me, so Ifake cough. All the boys look at me and Four blushes a bit, I wonder why he would blush.

" Can you move away from my locker? "I ask a bit harsh. Four and Zeke quickly walk away, but the others stay glued on there place.

"Guys, move away so she can get to her locker" Four says. They all listen to him and walk over to him. I smile inwardly, they look like a bunch of minions. Two guys stay again glued on there place. One with short black hair and a piercing in his eyebrow. and another one with brown short hair and green eyes, they are both very ugly. They just stand there and stare at me. Five minutes later I'm done with the staring contest and punch the green eyed boy in the nose. He stumbles backwards and falls on his butt. Zeke fist bumps me and the other guy walks away with green eyed boy. My locker is free by now, so I quickly open it and walk to my first class, Christina and I walked past it on our way to the lockers. She must have left because I can't find her anymore.

*time skip to after school.*

"Christina, I want to go home. " I say in a little baby voice.

"Not yet Trissy, one more store." On the past two hours we went into all the clothing and shoe stores in the whole mall and I'm carrying six bags of clothes and three bags of shoes. All of this reminds me about Aron, he always dragged me with him as he went shopping.

Christina grabs my hand and leads me to the other side of the mall, all the way in the back is a bright pink store, I recognize the store immediately, Victoria Secret. Ugh, I don't want to go into that store, it reminds me of Holland and Doutzen with her little most cutest boy ever, Phyllon. I used to babysit him when Doutzen was in Holland. The moment I walk into the store I see her, in the left corner on a poster. My eyes fill themselves with water and I try my hardest to not cry. I really don't need to be here, I have most of the store already. I tell Christina that I really don't need any of this. Surprisingly she agrees, because she wants to see my apartment. We hop into her car and we drive to my apartment.

On our way she asks me way I said I didn't need any lingerie. I just tell her she will see why and ignore her for the rest of the ride.


	7. Chapter 7

**Back with a new chapter, sorry for the last chapter it just sucked. I hope this one is better. **

TRIS ' POV.

Christina and I enter my apartment, I lead her into my small living room. We sit down on the couch both being quiet. Our uncomfortable silence is interrupted by some hard style song. I know the song and I love it, but I'm not in the mood for this right now.  
_This is me, these are my people_

_We party harder than the others you know_

_We're born free, created equal_

_We can be friends if you respect the code_

_There's no room for hating in this life we love_

_It's either fit in.. or fuck off!_

_This is me, this is my music_

_I like it just a little harder sometimes_

_Now why don't we, go out and lose it_

_Freedom is free 'cause it's all in the mind_

_There's no room for hating in this li-"_

I walk over to the door that connects Four's and mine apartment and slam my fists against the door while screaming;

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! "

The music immediately stops and I hear Four yell an apology. I walk into the kitchen to grab something to drink for Christina and I. The cups are in the highest drawer, so I need to stand on my tiptoes to reach it. I stretch my arm and I can almost reach it, I try to get a little bit higher and stretch some more. _damn, I really need to move them t-._

My thoughts are interrupted by Christina.

"What's that? " She asks pointing at my hip. _Well shit. _

"Just an accident, I'm kinda clumsy." I say not even convinced with what I said. As expected she doesn't believe me and looks at me in this weird way, probably waiting for a real explanation

_"_I... um... I-I... I told you I didn't need any lingerie. " The best thing I can do know is spill everything, Zeke and Four already know, so it was just a matter of time till the rest of them would know it. And I kind of trust Christina. I don't know why, maybe it is because she is so much like Aron. I just trust her.

I lead her into my bedroom and grab the shoe box with memories, I quickly grab everything I need to explain the story; a picture of me and Aron, a picture of me, Doutzen, Sunnery, Phyllon and little Myllena and a flyer of Club Crystal. We sit on the bed and she eagerly looks at me. I hand her the photo with Doutzen. She looks at it for a few seconds, probably thinking who it is and why I show her this and then she squeals.

"OMG ! That's Doutzen Kroes! She's an angel. " I just nod and try to find a way to explain her this.

"Did you get some VS lingerie from her? "She asks me. I point at the closet.

"Two lowest drawers. " I say. She opens them and her face seems to lit up.

"OMG! I want some." She starts to pull out different bras and thongs. She grabs a blue bra with fake crystals on it, she looks at it on awe. I have four of those, a white, black, pink and blue one. All with matching thongs. I never wore the blue set because I looked fat in them. Those are the only ones not from VS, I got them from Club Crystal as a uniform.

"You can have the blue pare, I never wore them." She squeals and hugs me tightly. She sits down next to me with a look that says 'spill everything', so I do.

I start with telling her about how I met Four and then go on till the point of me being here. I didn't look at her and when I do I see she's crying. I hug her and start crying. We hold each other for a while and both cry till we can't cry anymore.

" Tris, you've been to so much what can I do for you? "

"Not very much, I mean it's the past, I'm away from that hell hole now and Doutzen promised to take Phyllon and Myllena with her if she needs to be in Chicago. The hard thing is that I can't do anything about the fact that my parents are away, I can call Aron when I miss him, but I can't call my parents or my brother. "

She hugs me one more time and leaves because she needs to have dinner with her parents. I lay back in my bed and cry to myself, it isn't fair, why me? Why do I need to live a life like this, what did I do to deserve this? I'm sobbing and shaking like crazy by now and I can't stop, it just becomes worse. I miss my parents so much, we had a fairytale life before the accident, we had a lot of money, a lot of friends a lot of family time. We were happy together. Nobody could break us.

My mom and I had a special connection, we did everything together, we talked about everything and had a lot of fun together. We could laugh together and cry. I cry even harder and I can stand up, I'm shaking so baldy it hurts.

I hear a knock on the door. The door is unlocked, so I tell the person behind the door that it can come in. My voice sounds weak and vulnerable. The tears keep rolling down over my cheeks. My eyes hurt, and my brain is a mess.

"Tris, where are you?" it's Four, his voice sounds worried. The door to the bedroom opens and I see him standing there, his eyes search the room before they land on me. I didn't know I was laying on the ground. He sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap. His strong arms give me comfort and make me feel safe. I'm still shaking, but he doesn't question me. He just holds me close and rubs little circles on my hand with his thumb. it's like he knows what to do, because I stop shaking. He doesn't unwraps his arms and I don't want him to. I want him to hold me close.

We stay like this for 10 more minutes. I get myself together and wrap my arms around him. _ Are you crazy, he will think you're a complete freak now. _ To my surprise he holds me even closer and kisses the top of my head. I blush a little, why would he do that? he can't like me, I'm damaged, dirty, used and certainly not beautiful, hundreds of guys touched me already, I'm dirty. His eyes find mine, and they are filled with something I never thought I would find, love.

I decide to do something daring, I take his hand in mine, my eyes never leaving his. A small smile appears on his face, it isn't some fake or forced smile, it's a smile that reaches his eyes. Oh, those beautiful ocean blue eyes, I could drown in them. We keep looking at each other for a while, both smiling. I never smiled so much.

Suddenly he stands up, his and holds mine tightly and pulls me up with him, I miss his warm arms around me. He leads me into his apartment. It's completely black except some accessories and a sentence on the wall, fear god alone, I wonder what it means. He leads me into the kitchen and sits down in one of the chairs that are under the bar he made. I pull one out and sit down next to him. He picks up a bowl filled with something that looks like macaroni and cheese.

"I cooked, there should be enough for two." He says while grabbing two plates.

We eat in silence till he brings up an topic I want to escape as much as possible. I lean into him as he asks me;

"Tris, are you planning on visiting your parents? "

I'm taken back for a moment, I really don't want to talk about this, but I feel safe with him, like he can protect me from anything. I feel like he's the one where I can let my walls down and be myself, I don't have to be strong around him, he knows what happened, so I don't have a lot of I need to hide from him.

"Yes, but not yet, I'm not ready to face them. it's been so long and I miss them so much, but I can't even look at a picture of them and not cry." I say honestly after a while. He wraps both of his arms around me again and kisses the top of my head.

"I'm here for you, if you need me I'm always just a door away. " After he said that he kisses my cheek very close to the corner of my mouth. I'm shocked for a moment. Why would he do that? I smile, he's so handsome and he knows how to calm me down.

We move to the couch and decide to watch a movie. He looks to his collection trying to decide on a movie when I get a good idea.

"I know what we can watch." He looks at me as if to say 'continue'

"Do you know New Kids?" I ask him.

"Never heard of it." he answers.

"Ok, then I suggest we start with New Kids Turbo and we can watch Nitro another time." he nods and I show him the trailer on my mobile phone. He likes it, so we watch It. He laughs occasionally, I saw the movie a few times before, so I know what's about to happen. At the point where a guy named Barry gets hit by a car he looks at me, but I just smile to show I'm ok. I don't have problems watching this movie. it's just awesome.

Halfway into the movie I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder and his arms around my waist.

**Ok, so this was chapter 7, I hope you liked it. **

**the song that played was F.I.F.O by Brennan Heart and the movie is New Kids Turbo. It's an awesome movie about 5 guys how decide to stop paying for their rent and food and all that shit, it's a Dutch movie, if you want to watch it I suggest you watch the trailer first in case you can't handle or your parents don't like it. It a movie with a lot of swearing and shit like that. In Holland kids from 10 year old have watched it, but I can understand when your parents decide against. You can find the trailer if you search for : New Kids Turbo Trailer English Subtitles. **


	8. Chapter 8

**First of all I want to apologise, in my last chapter I said that a guy named Barry got hit by a car( New Kids). The guy that got hit was named Gerrie. Second I want to say that I got an extra job, so updating is gonna be harder, I work whole weekends starting with Friday and Saturday in the snack bar and Sunday is at the butcher's. Ok, enough about me let's start with chapter 8 **

FOUR'S POV.

Right now I'm watching an awesome movie, it's just a little bit weird it's Tris sitting next to me and not Zeke. I mean it's a nice movie and all, it's just not really a girls movie. Those five guys are smoking weed, drinking beer constantly, very aggressive, and there is a lot of cursing.

I place my arm around her shoulder to comfort her some more. She went to hell and back in 2 years. I didn't have a great past either, it's just that I didn't have to sell myself for food or a place to live. Marcus didn't want me to die, because he wouldn't have his punching bag anymore. I think it would be horrible for her, finding you self with another men every night. I want to give her the feeling that she belongs her and that, that time full of horror is over. She steadies her head on my shoulder as she laughs about something in the movie, something about ham I think.

We stay like that for a long time till I feel her body getting heavier around me, her breaths get even, she falls asleep slowly. I pull her a little bit closer. God, I never felt this with a girl before, I want to protect her and have her as close as possible. I love how her small body gives all the warmth I need, I love how her body fits next to mine.

At the end of the movie I decide to text Zeke, to tell him that we need to have a boys night anytime soon.

**Sure dude, what do you want to do? **He texts back.

**Watching a movie, found a new one with Tris tonight, it's totally awesome. **

**With Trissy? Someone had fun tonight ;) **

**No Zeke... We didn't do anything, we aren't even together. She forgot to get food, so I told her she could eat with me. She suggested to watch a movie afterwards. Now she sleeping on my shoulder... **

**Ok, just admit you like her, so we can get you two together. **

**No. I don't like her, Ok maybe a little bit. **

**Good, now you won't be the lonely guy in our group anymore. **

**I **really don't want his help, I want to do it on my own. I want to make her feel special, because that is what she is. Suddenly Tris starts shaking. Her eyes are still closed. She starts turning and moving around with her arms. She grabs her waist and tears roll down her cheek. I quickly shake her shoulder, trying to wake her up. She shakes some more and her eyes fly open, they are red and puffy from crying. I try to hug her, but she pushes me away.

"Don't touch me!" She scream, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Tris, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. " I say while stepping forward. The fear in her eyes fades away and she blushes while looking down. I take another step forward and wrap my arms around her. She rests her head against my chest as the tears keep rolling down her face. I don't say anything, I just hold her and try to comfort her. One of my arms rests on the small of her back, while the other makes circular movements against her shoulders. Her breaths become normal again and she stops crying, but doesn't pulls away. Honestly, I don't want her to pull away. I love the feeling she gives me and I love that I have the power to comfort her. She pulls away and looks at me. For a moment I admire her beautiful grey eyes and she stares back into mine. She stands on her tiptoes, she's still a lot smaller. I lean in and kiss her. Sparks fly through my body. She places her hands on my neck and shoulder and her touch makes me feel like I'm about to burst into flames.

She pulls back slightly and I look into her eyes, they are full of love. I hug her again and she hugs back. I wish we could freeze in this moment. Everything is so perfect, I'm standing here with the girl of my dreams in my arms. I decide this is the perfect moment to ask. Nervousness creeps through me as I pull back a little, just enough to see her beautiful eyes again. I take a deep breath.

"Tris, will you be my girlfriend? " I ask. I start to get even more nervous as her face goes all emotionless, but soon a smile forms on her lips. She nods a small 'Yes' and kisses me again.

TRIS ' POV (Time skip till next morning)

"OMG Tris that's so cute!"

I'm in my room, laying on my bed, calling Christina. I just had the feeling, I needed to share my story with somebody. Four was so sweet last night, after my nightmare he just held me and comforted me. He didn't ask anything about It. I was so embarrassed by pushing him off, I thought he would go all mad at me for screaming at him, but he wasn't mad, he wasn't mad at all. When we kissed the sparks flew through my body. Normally I'm not such a girly girl, but I can't help myself.

"Chris, can you pick me up for school? I still don't have a car or work. "

"Yeah sure, I'll be there in 5."

The line does death and I quickly grab all the stuff I need. I grab 3 packs of syrup waffles. _God I'm addicted to those thing _and I'm almost through all of them. Christina knocks on my door and i open it with half of a waffle in my mouth. She gives me a weird look and I give her a piece. She eats it and nods.

"It's good." She says.

*Time skip till school. *

I step out of Christina's car and I immediately spot the gang. We walk to them and I stand next to Four. He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. I lean into him and inhale his scent. He smells so good. A smile appears on my face. Christina gives me a knowing look, while the others gives us weird looks. Zeke sighs.

"Well, he can finally stop fantasizing about you." Zeke says. I look up at Four and find him blushing a bit. _Ahh that's so cute._ The bells rings and we all walk to our class. I have this class with Four and Zeke.

I sit next to Four and Zeke glares at us as he sits in the seat in front of us. A girl with glasses, braces and acne sits next to him. He glares at us again. Four and I both snicker and I drop my head on Four's shoulder. We stay like that for the rest of the class, He's rubbing my back all the time and I enjoy it. Normally I'm not really the cuddle type, but his body is so warm and strong and... ugh he's just so perfect.

The next classes were really boring. Just the regular class stuff that happened, but it's lunch now and god I'm starving. I walk into the lunchroom and sit between Uriah and Four. I grab an apple from my bag, because I don't want to eat the thing they call food in this school. When I'm done with my apple everybody else is still playing with their food. Then I remember I still had some syrup waffles left so I reach my bag and pick one. I'm eating it very slowly. Four grabs what's left and eat it. He nods him head.

"It's good." He says.

We sit some more and talk about unimportant stuff. Somewhere Four put his arm around my shoulder and I'm leaning into him now. My phone rings and I pick it up.

"Hello." I say

"Hey Tris. How are you?" I voice I recognize and Doutzen's says.

"Oh, hey. Yes I'm fine, I'm starting to settle. "

"That's Good. Is it Ok wit you if I drop Phyllon and Myllena with you in like an hour?" Omg, I missed them so much, they both are cuties.

"Yeah, that's cool I can ditch the rest of school and go home now."

" Oh, you're in school...I can drop him off later?"

"We both know, you don't give a fuck about school, so I will just go home."

"That's how I know you! We will be there in an hour." With that the line goes death.

I look at Four. He looks back at me.

"Come with me, we're ditching the rest of the day. " I whisper. He shivers a bit and Zeke looks at us.

"Trissy, what did you say?" He says.

"That we're ditching the rest of the day. Chris you can come after school, I'm sure I will get some presents that you can have." Everybody gives me a questioned look and Christine squeals.

I grab Four's hand and pull him with me out of the lunch room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey Bitches! I'm not the kind of person to ask for reviews, but I want to know how you think of what I write. It's just my first real fanfic so I need to know your opinion! **

POV FOUR

We arrive at Tris' apartment and she leads me inside. We just sit down and talk for a few minutes about everything and nothing. She lays her head on my chest and I wrap my arms around her. I love that I can finally call her mine, all these days of rejecting girls and daydreaming about her were so worth it. I kiss the top of her head and she looks up, a smile spread across her face. I kiss her again, but this time on her lips. She kisses back and the kiss is full of love and desire.

We get interrupted by as small knock on the door and the voice of a little boy screaming for Tris. Tris' eyes light up and a grin spreads across her face. She runs to the door, probably forgetting about her messed up hair and swollen lips. I chuckle to myself and get up to follow her. I see her open the door and a little boy jumps in her arms. He has black hair and a caramel colored skin. There's also a woman that seems familiar, she has long legs, a bit to bony for my taste, golden hair that falls over her shoulders and a small smile on her face. She holding a baby girl. I awkwardly stand at the end of the small hallway, while Tris has a reunion with these people.

Tris puts the boy down and looks at the woman.

"Hey Doutzen! How are you and Myllena doing?" She practically screams and hugs the woman, who now has a name.

"We are doing great! She's growing so fast. " The woman says, while handing her a large bag. Tris blushes and takes the bag.

"It's the usual." The woman says and looks up at me.

I smile at her and walk closer to Tris, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to me. Tris smiles and the woman just keeps looking at me. It's kind of creepy, but oh well.

"Tris who's this?" The woman asks. Still looking at me, god this woman is getting on my nerves.

"I'm Four." I answer for her, I mean I can talk for myself.

The woman opens her mouth to say something, but Tris cuts her off.  
"Four this is Doutzen, Doutzen this is Four." I reach my hand out for her to shake it and she does, a small smile appears on her lips.

"He's a good guy Tris, keep him." Doutzen says with a wink. Tris blushes, but she quickly continues. She gives Tris the little girl called Myllena and continues "will pick up Phyllon and Myllena in 4 hours, they already had their sleep so good luck." With that she turns around. Phyllon is already running around the house and exploring everything, he opens every drawer and every door to just stick his head in look around for a moment and then starts running again. Tris walks into her bedroom with the bag she just got, so I'm left with Phyllon. He's kind of cute. He now laying on the floor, looking at the sealing. I kneel next to him.

"Hey buddy, what's your name?" I ask him trying not to scare him.

He turns his head to me, first he looks at my head taking all of in and then his eyes fly over my body trying to find something odd. After a while he realizes there's nothing weird about my body and answers my question.

"I'm Phyllon, but everybody calls me Phylly." He says in his cute children voice.

"Well Phylly, I'm Four. I'm Tris' friend." He just nods and continues to look at the sealing and I decide to get his attention by tickling him.

TRIS' POV

I walk into my room with the bag in my hand. God, I'm so embarrassed. What is Four knew what was in this bag. I quickly put the nicest pairs of lingerie in my drawer and grab some pairs I never wear for Christina. I put the bag on the top of my closet and walk back into the living room.

Four and Phyllon are both on the ground, Four's tickling Phyllon and he's laughing like crazy. I quickly take a picture of the two of them and send it to Doutzen. I watch them for a few more minutes, admiring how good Four is with children. Neither of them sees or notices me and Myllena, so I walk into the kitchen to make all of us something to drink. I make Phylly his favorite; Hot chocolate with a lot of whipped cream and of course mii marshmallows , for me a simple tea and for Four a cup of coffee. I lay Myllena down in her little basket thingy and play with her small hands for a while. She has this cute toothless smile on her face.

**A/N Ok this is everything I have for now, I really need your help, I'm having a huge writers block and I need your help for inspiration! So review or PM me with all your ideas! I need them! I'm in a serious writers block, so please help me cause I don't know what I want with this story anymore. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I just wanted to make sure you know: I don't own anything, not the Divergent character and also not Doutzen Kroes and her family.**

**Chapter 10 for all of you. I hope you will like it! **

POV FOUR 

I walk inside the kitchen to see Tris playing with the little girl. She looks really cute. On the counter next to her are three mugs, one with hot chocolate and a lot of marshmallows, one with tea and one with coffee, which I assume is mine.

Tris hasn't noticed me yet, so I put my finger on my lips to tell Phyllon that he has to be quiet. I sneak up to her and wrap my arms around her for behind. She jumps a bit, probably not expecting it. I kiss the top of her head as she lets her head rest against my chest.  
The feeling she gives me is indescribable, she makes me feel everything I missed; the love, the comfort. I feels like she is the missing puzzle piece that completes my life.

In the corner of my eye I see Phyllon trying to reach the counter top. He's standing on the tip of his toes and his arms are stretched out all the way, but it doesn't work. I laugh a little and this makes Tris look to, She laughs to and walks over to him.

"Hey Phylly, is there something you want?" She asks him. He nods and points with his little finger to the mug with hot chocolate.

"I can't reach it Trissy." He says pouting. _Trissy, that is cute._

She picks up the mug and tells him to sit down, he does and she hands him the mug. Tris and I sit down next to him and I quickly pull her on my lap. I like the feeling of having her close, being able to protect her.

Tris puts on some kind of TV show for toddlers and Phyllon is immediately fascinated by all the laughing children.  
I walk into the kitchen to get Myllena. When I get close to her I see that she I asleep, so I pick her up as if she is a fragile piece of glass. She stirs a bit, but when I cradle her slowly and keep her close to my chest she is soon fast asleep again.

I slowly walk back inside the living room again and I she Tris on the couch with Phyllon hugging her. They look adorable. I sit down next to her, Myllena still on my chest. Tris smiles lightly at me and leans into my chest. I slowly put my arm around her careful not to wake Myllena. Tris looks up at me, I can't control myself. I kiss her, it's a passionate kiss full of love. We can't get too far into it because Phyllon start giggling as soon as he notices us. Tris blushes and pulls away.

With her head on my chest, Phyllon next to her and Myllena asleep on mine. It feels perfect. I want to stay like this forever, it's so peaceful, the girl of my dreams in my arms and two little children next to us. It's like a vision, like a look into the future. It's perfect.

* * *

TRIS POV  ( Later that night.)

Doutzen just picked up Phyllon and Myllena and I finally have some time to think. Four left earlier, because he promised Zeke that he would hang out with him.

I put on some music and think about everything that happened the last week. To say that it was a crazy week would be an underestimation. So many things happened; leaving my home country, finding the boy that haunted my dreams, having friends to talk to and I finally went to school again. It's all just really overwhelming and I just need some time to let it get to me. I'm finally here, I finally got what I wanted for so long.

And Four, he haunted my dreams for so long. I found him and not only him. I found love, at least I think it's love. This feeling is something I haven't felt in such a long time. It scares me, to know that I could lose him, just like I lost everything else I ever 'loved', all my friends, my family. The song switches and a smile comes on my face. I love this song. **( I do, I really do.)**

_You're the light, you're the night  
You're the color of my blood  
You're the cure, you're the pain  
You're the only thing I wanna touch  
Never knew that it could mean so much._

I start to hum along, lost in my thoughts I walk over to the other side of the room. I get my black little shoe box and sit down again. All those memories. With a smile still on my face I open the box. Everything in this box brings back good memories, every single pictures, bracelet, paper. All good memories.

_So love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do  
_The first thing that catches my eye is a picture of all my old friend. I remember this day like it was yesterday. We were all on the beach, nine people to be exact . We were just having fun, laughing, playing games.

_Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do  
_Then there is a necklace, it's a beautiful necklace that I got from my mother when I was 10, it's grey with black diamond's on it that look like water droplets.  
_  
Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do  
_A picture of my parents. It's in the box and I feel like I can't leave it in there. They look so happy on this picture. It's a picture of them on a cycling road trip, in matching clothes, smiling like nothing can ruin the happy moment they have.

What are you waiting for?

Then it hits me. What is it that I'm waiting for? What is it that keeps me from seeing them. I can't think of anything. My mind starts to go blank and silent tears roll down my face. I haven't seen them or talked to them in such a long time. _Not that you can see them now, not like they will hear you. _

I stand up, or more try to stand up. Before I can even take one step, my legs give up and I collapse to the ground. I'm full on crying now, and I feel emptier them ever. No one to hold me, not even Four.

_I'll let you set the pace  
'Cause I'm not thinking straight  
My head spinning around I can't see clear no more  
What are you waiting for?_

The last line repeats itself in my head, _What am I waiting for? What am I really waiting for?  
_With every bit of strength that I can find inside of myself I pull myself up and take a few deep breathes. _What am I waiting for?_  
My legs start to walk, I don't even know where. My pace increases and in just a few minutes I'm running across town. I hear someone yell my name, but I don't listen. Heavy footstep come closer as my pace increases again.'

"TRIS!" I'm crying and running like a retard, but I don't care. I keep running. Soon I find myself in front of the graveyard. I stop running and I notice that I don't hear those heavy footsteps behind me anymore.

The sun is setting as I open the gates, I look around trying to remember which path to take. Again my instinct takes over and my legs seem to know exactly which way to go. After walking around for a few minutes I begin to remember it. It's the family grave near the huge oak tree. As I come closer my sight begins to fade away. Tears are taking over again. I feel the huge crowd around me again. I feel how people are pushing me away. And I feel the strong arms around me. Only this time they seem less muscular. Which I odd because they were always the same.

Then suddenly someone lifts me up. I scream and kick. Till a hand covers my mouth.  
"Shut up bitch!" A voice I can't place says.  
Another pair of hands starts to rub my arms. I shiver , not because I like it, but because it gives me the creeps. A stranger is rubbing my arms.  
His arms move to my shoulders, down my sides and up again.  
"You have a nice body little girl." Another voice says again. He places his hands on my stomach. And slowly moves them upwards. I start to get really scared. I try to move my body away from his hands, but with the other person holding me it doesn't really work out as planned. I bite his hand and he lets go of me. I scream again and try to run, but the guy who was touching me grabs me before I can run away.

"Not so fast little girl, we aren't done yet." His voice is cold and hard. I give me goose dumps. I try to get out of his grip, but he kicks me to the ground. I'm taken back for a moment and he's taking advantage of this. He kicks me in the ribs and it hurts like a bitch. I moan in pain and he keeps kicking me. He squads down to my level and whispers in my ear

" You are gonna keep quiet and do what I say." When I don't react he pulls out a knife and holds it against my neck.

"Do you understand?" I nod slowly and he removes the knife. He lifts me up, not careful, but forceful. My ribcage screams in pain, but I ignore it.

"Take your shirt off little slut." It shocks me, this hasn't happened in a while, but before I can do anything he pulls out his knife again and stabbed me. I scream, I scream so loud. He slaps me across the face.

"I thought I told you to keep quiet." He says while he twists the knife. When he pulls it out I drop to the floor. I start to see black dots. Suddenly I hear someone scream.

"Hey! Leave her alone." I can't see anymore. I don't know what happens, but I hear someone run away and I hear someone being beaten up.

Just before darkness takes over I hear it, or more like _him_ say "Oh my god, no Tris stay with me!"

**Ok guys, so I hope you liked this chapter, Follow, Favorite and Review your thoughts! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11  
Hey guys another chapter for you! I hope you like and. Please PM me some ideas for this story I'm kind of stuck, but I really want to continue this story. So HELP ME please?!**

FOUR POV

I just left Zeke's house. We had an awesome time, but I feel bad for leaving Tris alone with those kids. On my way back I see someone running down the street, she looks lost and really sad. As she comes closer I recognize her, it's Tris. She makes a quick turn and I call out her name, but she doesn't hear me. I start to run after her, but she just keeps running. I scream her name a few more times. She makes a few turns and it doesn't take long for me to lose her. I keep running though.

After a few minutes I hear a faint scream, I immediately recognize it, Tris, I start to run in hoping to get closer to her. Not long after it I hear it again, louder this time. Knowing I'm closer I run even faster. Soon I find myself in front of the grave yard. _God this is going to take hours. _ I decide just to run around. Trying to find her I hear her scream again, like she is in pain. _No, no this can't be happening. _ As I come closer to her, I see two figures kicking her.

"Hey! Leave her alone." The two man notice me and one runs, but I grab the other one and beat him up till he's unconscious. As I turn around I see her, she's on the ground.

"No! Tris stay with me!" I rush over and squad down. She's unconscious. I pick her up, my hand soon starts to become wet from all the blood she's losing. This isn't good. Not good at all. Rushing back to my apartment I push everybody out of my way, not even apologizing.

I lay her down on my bed as soon as I get home. When I realize that I have to clean her cuts and wrap them up, I get a bit nervous. This means I have to remove her shirt. I don't know how she will react to this, I mean our relationship is nowhere near that point, but if the cuts get infected she will be in so much trouble. Slowly I remove her shirt, I can't help but stare at her chest for a moment. She's wearing a plain black bra with some lace, it's incredibly sexy. I shake my head to concentrate again. Her cuts are deep and long. They still bleed, but it's stopping. I first remove the dried blood with a wet towel, then I clean the cuts and wrap them up. I take a few step back and look at her. She's unconscious in my bed and not wearing a shirt. This is not exactly how I pictured that, but she still looks perfect.

_I will get her a shirt_. I think to myself, but when I want to open the door that connects our apartments I see my knuckles, they are still covered in blood. I decided the Tris is my number one priority and get her a shirt first. The door opens immediately and I notice her music is still playing. It's a slow sad song.

_But you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it's starts to snow  
Only know your love her when you've let her go  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know your love her when you've let her go_

The music comes from her bedroom. The door is still open. When enter the room I'm kind of shocked, pictures and paper are all across the room. A black box is on her bed. I quickly pick everything up and put it back into the box.

_'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it's starts to snow  
Only know your love her when you've let her go  
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know your love her when you've let her go_

I stop her music, quickly grab a shirt and get back into my apartment, leaving the door opened. Tris is still unconscious when I come back into the room, I carefully slip her tank top on, trying to avoid most of the cuts. After putting her shirt on I get into the bathroom the clean my hands, leaving the door open in case she wake up.

TRIS POV

When I wake up, the first thing I notice is that my whole body hurts. My head is pounding. I slowly open my eyes and freak out a little because I don't know where I am. I slowly open my eyes. I hear water running and turn my head, trying to see something. The view surprises me.

Four is in the bathroom, the water in the sink has a pinkish color. He has a pained expression on his face. I clear my throat, this seems to startle him for a bit. He walks over to me and sits down on the bed. I try to sit up, but it makes my ribs scream in pain.

"You don't have to be strong around me, you can let yourself be in pain." He says, he must have seen my struggle. I let a few tears run down my face. He brushes them away with his thumb. I look down in embarrassment, but when I do I see something weird. I know for sure that I wasn't wearing this shirt when I left to go to the graveyard. I look up, confusion clearly on my face. Four's cheeks get a little red.

"I- I uhm. I had to clean you cuts and wrap them up. Your shirt was soaked in blood, so got one from your apartment." His voice cracks a bit, like he's nervous. He avoids my eyes, but I put my index finger on his chin and turn his face in such a way he's forced to look at me. I give him a small smile.

"Thank you. Thank you for saving my and for taking care of me. You're my hero." I give him a small kiss on his cheek.

"It's getting late, you should try to get some sleep Tris. I will sleep on the ground." He looks at me, smiling slightly. I search his eyes for any kind of pity, but I can't find it. Good, I really don't like to be pitied. I nod my head, but to fast because my head still hurts like bitch.

I realize that I'm really tired. So as soon as my head hits the pillow again, I fall asleep.

_I'm walking down the street, some shopping bags in my hand. I look around trying to get any clue of where I might be. Christina is walking next to me, she has a lot more bags than I do. We continue walking down the road, passing multiple shops. The weather is nice, no wind and the sun is shining. Suddenly something happens, it's like clouds magically appear. The sun gets blocked out by the dark clouds above us. Christina doesn't seem to notice it at all and casually keeps walking. Not long after that I hear fluttering, like page of a book blown by the wind, but there is no wind. The air is still and soundless apart from the flapping. A shadow swoops overhead. I turn to Christina, who again doesn't seem to notice a thing. _

"_Christina, did you see that?" I ask with fear thick in my voice._

"_See what?" She looks confused , like the sun didn't disappear at all. I shake my head a bit hoping that I can go back to reality. Something lands on my shoulders and I have to hold in my scream. I feel it's weight and the prick of talons and fling my arm forward to shake it off, my hand batting at it. _

"_Tris are you ok?" Christina stops. She looks really worried. _

_I feel something smooth and fragile. A feather. I bite my lip and look to the right. A black Bird the size of my forearm turns its head and focuses one beady eye on me. I grit my teeth and hit the crow with my hand, it digs in its talons and doesn't move. I cry out, more frustrated than pained, and hit the crow with both hands, but it stays in place, one eye on me, feathers gleaming in the light. Thunder rumbles and I hear the patter of rain on the ground, but no rain falls. _

"_Tris, Tris are you ok?" Christina is shaking my shoulder. A small crowd has formed around us, people are taking pictures of me. The sky darkens even more. I look up to see a flock of crows storming towards me, an advancing army of outstretched talons and open beaks, each one is squawking, filling the air with noise. The descend in a single mass, diving towards the earth, hundreds of beady black eyes shining. _

_I try to run, but my feet refuse to move. The crowd of people around me doesn't look shocked at all. Christina has taken a few steps back, blending in the crowd. _

_I scream as the crows surround me, feathers flapping in my ears, beaks pecking at my shoulders, talons clinging to my clothes. I scream until tears come from my eyes, my arms flailing. My hands hit solid bodies but do nothing; there are too many. I am alone. They nip at my fingertips and press against my body, wings sliding across the back of my neck, feet tearing at my hair. I twist and wrench and fall to the ground, covering my head with my arms. I am screaming. I am sobbing _

"_Help! I wail. "Help!" The crows flap harder, a roar in my ear. My body burns, they are everywhere. _

"_Help." I sob and scream. I am dying, I am dying. _

_Suddenly Four's voice scream in my mind. The ground starts to shake, birds start to fall down. I hear Four's voice again, he's calling my name. I feel a hand on my shoulder. The birds fall down around me, one falls on my head. With the impact I sit up straight. _

I sit up straight. Four's hand on my shoulder. Tears stream down my face, I can't seem to stop them. He doesn't say anything. His hand still on my shoulder, it comforts me. Even this simple touch seems to have an impact on me. I look up at him. He looks worried.

"Tris, are you ok? You were turning and tossing, crying and screaming." His eyes search for mine, as his hand grabs my.

"I- I don't know, just a nightmare I guess." His hands are warm compared to mine. The contact with him makes me feel safe. I know he will protect me. Without thinking about it I hug him. He seems surprised, but soon wraps his arms around me, careful not to hurt me. I'm feeling safe in his embrace, I never want to let go.

"Tris, it's 4a.m. you try to sleep at least a little." I don't know how I feel about this. I don't want to let go, I don't want to fall asleep. He releases me and get back on the ground. I look down to see he made a small bed with pillows and a duvet. I miss his warmth, the safety he gives me, I don't think I will be able to sleep without it.

"No." I say, almost sounding desperate. He looks up at me, one eyebrow raised, silently questioning what I mean.

"Don't sleep on the floor, please." I continue. " Come here, I don't think I will be able to sleep without you." I blush when I say this, I really hope he doesn't see it.

"Tris are you sure?" He sounds uncertain, like he doesn't want it.

"I mean it's ok if you don't want to, I understand." I say, but I need him right now.

"Tris, I want to I promise, but I don't want to push you."

I pat the stop next to me and luckily he lays down. I lean into him and he wraps his arm around me. I feel safe once again. Him warm body next to mine_, his shirtless body next to mine._  
My head's on his hard abs. I trace his muscles with my finger as he twirls my hair around his fingers. With the feeling of safety, comfort and love I fall asleep once again.

**Longest chapter written so far, but now I'm seriously in a writer's block. Please help me out, send me some ideas. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12. **

**I'm really sorry, this took me so long to write. I'm failing some classes so I need to pick those up again. Thank you so much for helping me Hooda. All of you quys should check out her account, her stories are amazing!**

POV TRIS

It has been a few weeks since the attack, and let's just say that those weeks haven't been the best. Four and I stopped talking a few days later. When we see each other in the hallway at school we nod at each other. I've distanced myself for our little group of friends. It has been a rough time because I am falling for him and not being able to talk to him breaks my heart.

I don't hang out with any of my friends anymore, the accident really shocked me. I started cutting again to, I know I should not do it, but it helps me. Nightmares haunt me, I can feel their hands on me every single night. The only thing that helps me is the memory of Four's eyes, his beautiful ocean blue eyes.

Anyway, I finally got a job. I work at the tattoo parlor 'Dauntless tattoos.' The owner, Tori, has shown a lot of respect towards me. A few days ago I decided to get a tattoo to cover up some of the scars on my hip, it's a tattoo of 3 flying birds. (**I know it was on her collarbone, but not in this story) **Tori was amazed by my drawing skills and asked me to try out a few other designs for her. She again was very impressed and after a while decided to hire me. I'm very happy that I got this job, mainly because I have not much money left. I work on Saturday, Sunday and sometime an afternoon on a weekday. It's enough to pay the rent and basic things, like groceries.

Today has been one of those days that just sucked, I haven't seen Four all day, and I felt so alone. Right now I'm sitting on my bed watching a Dutch movie. It's a sad movie and it makes me cry. I'm just sitting here blankly starring at the screen in front of me when I suddenly hear a door slams shut very hard. When I get up to see what happened I'm shocked. Pictures have fallen of the wall, glasses fell of the table. I quickly run around my apartment to make sure that there are no creepers in my house. Then I realize it must have been Four. I bang on the door connecting our living rooms.

"Four! Four are you alright?" No reaction. I keep banging. The sound of let her on flesh creeps into my ears, then I hear a light groan. It's faint, but just hard enough for me to hear.

I try opening the door, luckily it works. I push it open slowly and what I see shocks me. Two figures, one is on the ground, that's Four, I can easily say that, the other one is hanging above him holding a belt. They haven't noticed me yet, so I quietly take a few steps closer. I can now see that the man above is tall and slim, he has his hair cut close to his scalp, one hand is behind his back as he brings the belt down again. Another groan escapes Fours mouth.

What happens next seems to be in slow-motion. The man yanks his arm back, the belt sailing over his shoulder as he prepares to strike again, Four tries to protect himself by bringing his arms up. He looks years older; he looks years younger. As the belt comes down he seems frozen. I dart in front of him and the belt cracks against my wrist, wrapping around it. A hot pain races up my arm to my elbow. I grit my teeth and pull as hard as I can. The man loses his grip, so I unwrap the belt and grab it by the buckle. I swing my arm as fast as I can, my shoulder socket burning from the sudden motion, and the belt strikes the man's shoulder. He yells and lunges at me with outstretched hands. Suddenly I'm pushed back, Four is in front of me. His back is ripped into pieces, there is almost no unbeaten flesh left. He stand between me and Marcus, he looks angry, not afraid like few moments ago. The man gives him a cold look and surprisingly he walks away, out of Fours apartment.

"Four are you ok?" The words leave my mouth when I see his expression. His eyes are wide and seem almost vulnerable under the room's light. His lips are parted. If we were not in this situation I would describe the look as awe.

He wraps his hand around my elbow, his thumb pressing to the soft skin above my forearm, he tugs me towards him, the skin around my wrists still stings. He slowly kisses my cheek, then his arms tighten around me. I'm in a debate with myself, should I put my arms around him and risk hurting him. I carefully put one arm on his neck and the other at the side of his shoulder, this is really uncomfortable,, because I have to stretch myself out all the way to be able to put my arms in this position. He buries his face in my neck, breathing against my collarbone.

"Hey," I say softly. "Let's get you cleaned up."

He lifts his head and slips his fingers through my hair, tucking it behind my ear. We stare at each other for a moment. His fingers move absently over a lock of my hair.

"You helped me." He says in a way which makes it seem like he's still figuring out if this is real. "You got me through it."

"Well." My throat is dry. I try to ignore the nervous electricity that pulses through me every second he touches me. "It's easy to be brave for the ones you love." I let my hands drop and casually wipe them on my jeans, hoping he doesn't notice. If he does, he doesn't say so. I take his hand, lacing his fingers with mine I gently pull him towards his bed room.

"Lay down on your stomach and let me clean your back." He obeys and lies down on his bed. I carefully take off his shirt. What I see shocks me, his back is covered in scars. Like 3 inches long each. I stare at his back for a moment, it hurts me seeing him like this. He usually is so strong and tough, but now he is in so much pain.

"This may hurt." I have to disinfect his cuts, as careful as possible I dap his back. He flinches every time I touch it and it breaks my heart seeing him in so much pain. I don't understand how a father could do something so cruel to their own child. I finish with wrapping his back and giving it a small kiss when I'm done. He sits up and just looks at me.

"Tris, I don't know how to thank you. You saved me." Tears start to form in his eyes.

" How about you tell me why you have been ignoring me for the past few weeks." As soon as these words left my mouth I see the hurt in his eye. It's there for just a split second, but I could clearly see it. "I'm sorry I sounded like a total bitch."

"Tris, I thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore, I thought I made you uncomfortable because you know, I was in a bed with you and when I woke up you were gone. I thought I crossed a line."

"Four, I needed time to think. What happened that night brought back so many bad memories, I was shocked." I say with tears in my eyes. He wraps his arms around me.

"I never meant to hurt you Tris, I thought I did something wrong, I thought I screwed up." I hug him back carefully.

"Four I-" He cuts me off.

"Don't call me that." He says not looking at me.

"Than what should I call you?"

"Call me Tobias, it's nice to hear my name again." Just like that I knew that he would start to open up to me. And then out of nowhere my insecurities kick in again.

"Tobias, why do you even like me? I'm younger, I'm not pretty. I Just don't get it." I look at him, the way he looks at me, I don't know how it describe it, love, desire? He laughs, a deep laugh that sounds like it came from deep inside him and he touches his lips to my temple.

"Don't pretend, you know I'm not. Tobias I'm damage, I'm dirty and used."

He looks at me, his eyes get a darker color. "Tris look at me, like really look at me. I'm damaged to. And besides that, I like how you look. You're deadly smart. You're brave and even thought you just found me being beaten by my own dad…" His voice softens. "You aren't giving me that look. Like I'm a kicked puppy or something."

"Well," I say. "You're not."

For a second his eyes are on mine and he's quiet, He touches my face and leans in close, brushing my lips with his. He grins and I tense up a bit. What if I did something wrong? He takes my face in his hands, his fingers strong against my skin and kisses me again, firmer this time, more certain. I wrap an arm around him trying to get him as close as possible. This makes me complete.

**A/N Things will get more interesting in the next chapter ! I promise. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! **

It has been a super long time since I visited this site, but I decided to pick up the story again. I'm gonna rewrite it and republish it. The first chapter will be up in a few days and I will update every Friday.

If any of you have ideas for the story, they are more than welcome so just tell me in a review or a personal message.

I hope all of you are just as excited for this as I am. I seriously can't wait to get this story going again !

See you in a few days guys!


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys the first chapter of the rewritten story is up! Please go and check it out. I hope you all enjoy it. The title of the story is Being all alone, so yeah, go and check it out.


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